“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.”
— Steve Jobs

🛑 Stop Chasing Approval: Embrace Your Authentic Self in The Honesty Lab

Have you ever found yourself relentlessly pursuing goals, only to realise you are not chasing your dreams but someone else’s idea of success? The truth might sting; 70% of us are living according to societal expectations rather than personal aspirations. This blog post explores the enlightening journey in The Honesty Lab, where I discovered how to align my life with my true self rather than live for approval. If you ever felt pressured by external expectations or found that your accomplishments feel unfulfilling, continue reading. This post will inspire you to redefine success and find peace in authenticity.

✅ Understanding the Concept of Approval

The need for approval is natural. As social beings, we are wired to seek acceptance. However, when this pursuit of approval overshadows our own goals and desires, it becomes detrimental.

In the hustle of daily life, many individuals chase traditional definitions of success—money, status, and recognition. Yet, upon deep reflection, did these achievements fulfil you? My journey revealed that I had equated success with the accolades and validation from friends, family, and society. Living for approval leads to a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction, where each achievement feels hollow.

1. Ownership of Your Emotions

To embark on a journey of self-discovery, it is crucial to own your emotions. Identify when you are acting out of a desire for approval rather than your values. Acknowledge that it is okay to seek validation, but recognise when it strangles your sense of self. Reflect on moments when you made decisions based on what others might think rather than your happiness. This awareness becomes the foundation of your transformation.

2. Challenging Existing Beliefs

Our beliefs shape our thoughts and actions. Weak beliefs about ourselves often stem from childhood, past experiences, or cultural conditioning. Examine where your notions of success come from. Are they truly yours? Challenge those beliefs and ask yourself: What does success mean to me? What options am I denying myself by adhering to these outdated beliefs? Reframing your beliefs can be powerful. Instead of telling yourself, "I must succeed for my family's sake," consider, "I will succeed by being true to myself."

3. Redefining Enough

The concept of ‘enough’ varies from person to person. Society often imposes an arbitrary benchmark for success without considering individuality. In The Honesty Lab, I learned the liberating idea that I could define what ‘enough’ looks like for me. Take the time to envision your ideal life without societal restraints. Write down what is enough for you in terms of happiness, relationships, and accomplishments. When you have clarity, making decisions becomes simpler.

4. Embracing Imperfections

We live in a world that glorifies perfection, leading many to hide their flaws. The truth is, imperfections make us relatable and authentic. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and admit our struggles, we resonate more deeply with others. Recognising that it's okay to be imperfect invites a sense of freedom. Share your journey with others, and you may be surprised by their response. You could be the voice of change, encouraging others to embrace their imperfections as well.

💭 Exploring the Honesty Lab

The Honesty Lab isn't just an experience—it is a metaphorical space where you confront your beliefs, emotions, and experiences. This environment is crucial for personal growth as it pushes you out of your comfort zone into the realm of authenticity.

🚪Steps to Enter Your Honesty Lab

⌛️ Set Aside Time for Reflection

Dedicate a moment each week to reflect on your feelings about success, approval, and what matters most to you. Journaling can be an excellent tool for this. Write without restriction; let your thoughts flow and see patterns emerge.

⌛️ Engage in Deep Conversations

Connect with trusted friends or mentors who push you to explore deeper. Sharing insights can illuminate blind spots you didn’t recognise.

⌛️ Practice Mindfulness

Incorporate mindfulness practices into your life. Meditation, silence and stillness, or deep breathing fosters awareness of your inner self. Understanding your thoughts and feelings can lead to breakthroughs in your pursuit of authenticity.

🔒Facing the Fear of Change (With Wisdom)

The fear of stepping outside of societal expectations is intense. However, one can find courage through the support of the right kind of community. Seek out others who have embarked on a similar journey of embracing their authentic lives. You are not alone!

That said, not every space is safe — and not everyone is ready to hold your story with care. That’s why it’s so important to honour your courage while also protecting your heart.

Before sharing your journey, be prayerful and discerning. Your vulnerability is sacred, and not everyone deserves unfiltered access to your process.

Surround yourself with trusted, aligned people — maybe a coach, a small group, a faith community, or even just one friend who truly “gets it.” Your story is meant to take root in nurturing soil, not be exposed to criticism or confusion.

The right encouragement will strengthen you. Just be wise about who gets to walk with you — because you’re not alone, but you are responsible for guarding your growth.

🌿 Inviting Peace into Your Life

As you embrace your authenticity, choose peace over the chaos of approval chasing. Begin building a life that reflects your values, desires, and God-given design — not someone else’s expectations.

Here’s how you can begin inviting soul-deep peace into your life:

🔹 Prioritise Self-Honouring

We often call it “self-care,” but this goes deeper. This is about honouring the vessel God gave you — your body, your mind, your spirit. It’s not about treating yourself, but about tending to yourself. Listening. Resting. Responding.

Ask yourself:
“What do I need right now that I’ve been ignoring?”

🔹 Set Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t walls — they’re wisdom.

They help you protect your peace, remind others how to love and respect your energy, and honour what God is building in you.

Learn to say “no” without guilt.
Say no when something costs your soul more than it’s worth.
Say yes only when it aligns with the life you're called to build.

🔹 Create a Personal Vision

Peace isn’t the absence of noise — it’s the presence of clarity.

Ask yourself:
“What does peace look like for me, today?”

It might be:

• Worship in the car

• Quiet time in nature

• Journaling over coffee

• Being fully present with someone you love

Visualise that life. Anchor in it.
Then honour it with your choices — again and again.

🌊The Ripple Effect of Authentic Living

Living authentically not only benefits you but others around you. When others witness your transformation, it inspires them to engage in honest reflection and embrace their true selves. Start that ripple effect in your circle and create a community of honesty and authenticity.

Conclusion: The Journey of Authenticity Awaits

Where do we go from here? Embracing authenticity is a journey, not a destination. Reflect on your values, redefine your ideas of success, and create a life filled with peace. Remember, the path may be challenging, but the rewards are life-changing.

Get Honest With Yourself Today! You’ll Be Surprised at the Depth of Your True Desires!

The key takeaway is clarity in what truly matters to you. You have the power to define your life based on your choices, not others’ expectations. It's time to step into your own light and stop chasing approval. You are capable of creating a life that fulfils you deeply. Start today!

You don’t need permission to be yourself — but sometimes you need practice.

🤍 Vera
Leadership & Communication Coach
Founder of The Honesty Lab
verachin.com