Inside My Honesty Lab: What I Dream, Cry, and Sing About

Have you ever paused to ask yourself what truly matters in your life? In our busyness, we often forget to lift our heads and take a real good look at the dreams, sadness, and joys that make up our world. In this blog post, I want to take you inside my honesty lab. I’ll share three crucial questions that have prompted me to dig deep and get radical honesty with myself. By engaging with these questions, you may find that you, too, can explore the depths of your genuine desires and fears within a safe emotional space. Through this journey, we’ll uncover how being honest can lead to a more fulfilled life.

The Process of Self-Discovery

Self-discovery is a powerful process that lays the foundation for personal growth and transformation. It allows us to delve into the core of who we are. It begins by asking the right questions. In my journey, I’ve found that the following three questions have guided me through my honesty lab.

💭 Question 1: What Do I Dream About?

This question may sound simple, yet it leads to profound insights. For many, dreams serve as a mirror reflecting our true selves, revealing our deepest desires and motivations. When I think about my dreams, I envision a beautiful home where my family resides in peace. It’s not just about the physical space, but what it signifies: healing, unity, freedom, and a life aligned with my calling.

I don't just dream of success, but a life where love can rest.

As you ponder this question, consider writing down your dreams. What do they paint for you? Are they material desires, or do they reflect a lifestyle or a connection you yearn for? The more specific you become in your visions, the more achievable they will begin to feel.

Actionable Insight: Create a vision board or a dream journal to clarify and visualise your aspirations. Include images and words that resonate with your ideal life. As you commit them to paper, they transform from mere thoughts to tangible goals.

😢 Question 2: What Makes Me Sad?

This question fires up a different set of emotions, often ones we may prefer to avoid. In confronting our sadness, we uncover pathways to healing. I’ll be honest—seeing women silence themselves deeply saddens me. I mourn for the experiences and voices lost in the noise of striving for societal approval or acceptance.

Additionally, losing quality time with my children in the name of work felt like a betrayal to my values. It’s vital to recognise what brings sadness into your life.

I cry over what I lost - and what I nearly missed.

Are there patterns in your sadness? Is there relational tension, particularly with significant figures like your mother? Or is it disconnection— first with others, and ultimately yourself? Recognising these patterns is the first step toward change.

Actionable Insight: Engage in journaling or reflective practices and identify recurring themes in your sadness. Once recognised, these patterns can inform you on what changes are necessary for your well-being. Reflect back on your values and see how you can align your day-to-day life in a way that honours those values.

🎶 Question 3: What Makes Me Sing?

If the previous questions opened the doors to dreams and sorrows, this one lets the light in. What activity or moments make your spirit leap? For me, it’s the small joys—moments of presence, witnessing transformation, and the joy of coaching others to discover their voices. Leading someone to their breakthroughs fills me with joy and purpose.

My heart sings when I feel free. Not perfect — just present

As you contemplate this question, ask yourself what sparks joy within you. Is it spending time with family or engaging in hobbies? Do you feel a sense of bliss in worship or journaling? Finding those moments that cause you to break into a smile or a song can illuminate the path back to joy in your life’s journey.

Actionable Insight: Create a joy list. Note down activities, surroundings, or even people that make you feel alive. Schedule these activities into your routine, allowing yourself to savour these joyful moments more regularly.

Reflections on Honesty and Growth

The overarching theme in these reflections is the importance of radical honesty. Accepting and confronting our dreams, sadness, and joys can empower us in profound ways. Honesty—as hard as it can be—strips away pretenses and reveals true self. It cultivates authenticity in relationships and empowers decision-making.

In this journey, it's essential to prioritise self-care. When emotions arise from your honesty lab, remember to allow yourself the grace to feel and process them. This honesty may stir up discomfort—embrace it. Acknowledge these feelings and, over time, work through them.

Encouraging Others Through Your Insights

As you’ve engaged with these questions, it’s essential to share your experiences with trusted individuals in your circle. Vulnerability can be challenging, but addressing these topics with others can lead to heightened connections. You can support one another, provide insight, and perhaps even engage in conversations you have otherwise avoided.

Wrapping Up: Your Journey to Radical Honesty

So now what? The path to radical honesty starts with engagement in meaningful questions. I urge you to ask yourself the three questions I’ve shared. And once you answer them, share your findings with someone you trust.

Remember, the most profound transformations often stem from a place of honesty with oneself. By getting to the root of what you dream about, what makes you sad, and what makes you sing, you invest in yourself deeply. This transformative journey is not just about revealing what lies beneath the surface; it's about paving the way to living a purpose-driven life.

Ultimately, honesty can drive connection, openness, and truth, allowing you and those around you to thrive. We do not grow in isolation; we grow together through shared experiences and vulnerability.

Now, take that step forward. Ask yourself these questions, and reach out to someone you trust to share your answers. Let your honesty lab become a source of strength and connection within your community. Whether it’s a friend, mentor, or a trusted circle, your journey matters. Let’s embrace this beautiful path toward genuine self-awareness and authentic living together.

✍️ Take action today!

🤍 Vera
Leadership & Communication Coach
Founder of The Honesty Lab
verachin.com